Two weeks ago my arch nemesis, Josh, was teasing the hostesses. He casually mentioned to me that I could join him in the banter, yet he did not trust me to remain loyal to his cause, stating that I might turn against him and help defend the ladies. It it true, at times Josh and I team up to tease one of our fellow coworkers, such as Kristen our manager, while at other times we are pitted against each other, using coworkers and even each others tables as ammunition in the ongoing war. I have those that are dedicated to me, he has his, but for the better part most of our coworkers are in limbo, and willing to side with whom ever is able to make the best pun. I would have likely remained uninvolved with the banter between Josh and the hostesses, but to say that I would likely defect from team Joshua and side with the ladies; how could I resist the invitation to one up Josh? Especially in the name of being the defender of the fair maidens.
I began to scheme. Once settled upon a plan I brought the hostesses into the secrete combination. The idea was simple. For some time I have been threatening to plant a fish in Josh's truck, to stink it up (I'm still trying to figure out how to get the fish past the locked doors), thus a prank involving his truck seemed appropriate. Originally I thought that the hostesses could just trash his truck, but most people who do this negligently use something like shaving cream to write taunts on the car, not realizing that the chemicals contained within the cream will actually damage the paint. I decided that I had better put the details together myself, and then put the hostesses to work to pull it off. The destruction had to be innocuous, but witty. I decided upon the 'prank' that friends of newly weds do to the wedding car following the nuptial. I made a banner to tie to his tailgate, with cans streaming behind. The cans were tucked under the truck in such a way so that they would only fall to bump upon the road once he was on the freeway. The clammer would force him to pullover to see what was wrong with his truck. As he walked around the vehicle he would see the banner and cans, but rather than reading 'Just Married' it would read 'Just Punked'. I had hoped to follow him home, so I could photograph him with that look of dismay that would surly grace his face, but I left the point-and-shoot-camera in the trunk of the car, and it was too cold to turn on. (I knew I should have brought my SLR camera with the telephoto lens.) The pranked was planed in such a way that while I formulated the plan and put the materials together, it would be the hostesses who pull it off. This provided me with an alibi, as I arrived at work before Josh and we typically walk out together at the end of the night.
At this moment in time he doesn't know who did it. He believes me to be in cahoots with the conspirators, which I am, but I'm denying everything, albeit with an intentional air of guilt. Tomorrow I will post flyer with a picture of his truck being punked on the bulletin board at work, offering an reward for information leading to the apprehension of the scoundrels who would do such an awful thing. (Although I could not take the photo that I wanted, Josh was kind enough to take a photo of my handy work, which he posted on Facebook. As I don't have a Facebook account any longer, one of my coconspirators was kind enough to copy and email me the photo, which I will now use against him to patronize him for many days to come.) Will he retaliate? Of course, but for now I will bask in the sweetness of revenge.
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| JUST PUNKED |
