Journal entry titled "A Kiss", from December 2005.
"My 'first' kiss was as a young boy. I had not even begun my school years. I was at a birthday party of a neighbor. I was just sitting there when a little girl busted a move on me. She took me by surprise and laid one on the cheek. I was so embarrassed. Girls have cooties, and I had not yet learned that cooties aren't such a bad thing.
I didn't like seeing kissing growing up. When ever kissing appeared on TV or a movie I would say, 'I didn't see that." and I would divert my eyes if possible. Another instance of undesired affection took place while I was in my kindergarten year. I'm almost surprised that a teacher would broach such a subject as such a tender age, but we were learning about sexual abuse, on a child's terms. The teacher told us that if we were being touched in a way that we didn't like we didn't have to let that person touch us. Of course I didn't understand what she was referring to, but I took the council to heart. That night, at home, dad was giving me a hug and playfully kissing me, properly as a father should. But I didn't like it, and I was taught that I didn't have to tolerate it. So while my head was buried in his shoulder I sunk my teeth in. My front teeth were missing at the time, but my very sharp canines pierced his flesh. Instinctively, my dad threw me off of him. The mark would leave a scare, I'm sure, on both of us."
Today, I consider a kiss to be sacred. I don't give them away haphazardly, and to be on 'kissing terms' isn't a light thing. Before two souls give themselves to a kiss they should already be intertwined in heart and mind. I have not kissed many girls as a result of this philosophy. It's not easy resisting the urgings of my sex. Two of the girls I kissed took place in a moment of weakness, and I wish that I wouldn't have. A past girlfriend, on the other hand, had to wait a month until I felt the relationship was ready for it. And then there was the 'forbidden kiss'... I will never regret those intimate moments. They are the most sacred moments of my life...
