Coming to terms with the fact that you are, in a way, 'broken' is an interesting developmental process. People do not refer to transient conditions in a personal way. They say, "I have the Flu" or "a cold". But conditions of life that impart some kind of permanence to the body or soul must be internalized. We do not say "the asthma is killing me", rather we say "my asthma is killing me", "my diabetes", "my scared heart". They become part of who we are, but it is not an instantaneous process, rather it is a process that slowly proceeds from initial shock and denial, to self internalization and acceptance. It becomes part of who we are, part of how we identify ourselves.
Being a deep thinker, I find myself watching this process take place inside myself, almost as if I were watching from the third person as I observe how it plays out in 'my' newly diagnosed ulcerative colitis.
